Sigh of relief...

I have decided to let it go...
Deep down I still want to see him on that day..
where we were going to be on the same flight...

But this is tiring...
So tired of hoping, waiting and expecting..
I finally brought myself to cancel my flight..
So weird...
It felt like everything has been lifted..

I'm still human too...
When I see stuff that is related to him and my heart still jolt..
but this time it doesn't make me want to cry..
just a slight jolt..
maybe because I'm already feeling numb..

too numb... that I felt like puking every now and then..
I won't call this depression...
it's just from all the denial on everything happened so quickly..
It's only been less than a week..
but it already felt like more than 2 weeks..
Maybe it's going better than I thought..

I get emo hard, but when it's over... It's over..
Goodbye my dearest lamb.. I loved you and never will again..

hopefully..