Broken up, both the relationship and my heart...

Just when i finally thought this is the relationship that I will be going steady..
even with the rocky situation, i thought we can go thru this together...
why do i have such confidence?
because he said that if im honest then this could be forever..

such BS

my honesty is rewarded by him getting stressed out...
he told me not to pile problems and released it when im pissed..
now who's the one who lay out all the excuses when we are breaking up..

I compromised so much and ended up it seems to be boring him out..
he mentioned just once that he would like to spend more time with his family..
and I'm considerate enough to always hang at his crib...
but that seems to be an issue..
he said we are always doing nothing and watching tv..
what's wrong with watching tv? couples can chill too..
if you really want to do something, bring it up!
not like question me again and again and AGAIN....
and what do you mean when i make a blunt face when im talking to your mum?
it is my "I'm listening face"
I do feel bad for your mum, not because she has trouble communicating with me..
it's that you don't even try to help her to communicate with me.. RIDICULOUS

EXCUSES, EXCUSES, AND EXCUSES..
trying to make yourself dont feel bad cause you lost the affection..
its all freaking excuses....

I felt so pathetic crying like an insane bitch trying to fix things up..
Thinking back about it.. I even asked for a 10 minute hug? LOL ZOMG..
I never ever put my pride down low like this before..
I guess at the heat up moment... I was that pathetic... asking for another go to work things out..

If i could turn back time, i think there's nothing i can do either...
since from what i see, you were just into the butterfly feelings in the beginning..
Being in relationship isnt always all about fun JESUS LORD

If i want to regret, it's regretting dating someone who has no whatsoever relationship experience..
Not that you dont understand me, it's that i think you refused to even try to understand..
Fine go by your way then..
No best wishes to you but hopefully one day you experience the same thing as i do..

This feeling of my heart being so numb is totally weird.. it's like it's already empty, but there's still stuff still flowing out endlessly.. lol