Mixed feelings

hmmm..
being in love...
it's like a roller coaster..
or nope, even if i don't want to compare it to a roller coaster..
still... it's a roller coaster

he makes me happy..
but the next moment he could make me feel depressed..
then again with one word, he could make everything back to normal...
i have given my heart to him...

in the beginning i was trying to be more careful so i dont get hurt..
but since he was the first to say ily..
i almost couldnt believe it.. maybe i was just dreaming..
a dream that is a reality.. how awesome is that..
even thinking about it now, makes my heart beats fast...

but... every roller coaster has it's ups and down..
and whenever it goes down, my heart or anyone's heart would feel the jolt..
but for the ride, everyone already kinda expects the fall..
but in a relationship, the fall is unpredictable..

i'm not sure if my insecurity is the problem or the problem lies within our relationship..
i too want a less rocky relationship..
but according to X, argument happens all the time..

the main point is that...
if there's a wound, TREAT it!!
not just look at it and expect it to heal by itself..
of course it will heal, but if it is treated right away....
things would be so much better than just leaving it alone..

ily ily ily
such sweet and scary words at the same time..

hahaha i wish i could love less..
then he could have all the freedom..
but thats not possible..
because i have already given all my heart..

in the end..
the person who loves more.. ends up being the sensitive clingy bitch.

he probably doesnt know..
but i overheard a conversation..
i would totally like the situation to be reversed..
what if he was the one who heard me saying that..
but the irony is that, i could imagine him being ok with that..
because?
he's easy-going... LOL WTF

im not sure if this is just a girls thing..
easy going or what shit...
if you don't have the slightest feeling of being jealous..
maybe you just dont care...
and if you dont care means.... you know what i mean...

but after talking to X..
X said it's just guys...
guys being oblivious to this and that...
should this be an excuse for me to just brush it off?

from what i think..
for short-term, maybe yes..
for long-term, i might already cry a river.......

FCKING HATE BEING EMO AND SHIT...