I want to hurry up and learn korean!

이러한 감정 많이 싫어..
친구 같이 함께 어렵습니다..
절대로 앞으로 같이 싫어!
너무 싫어!

-------

Don't want to admit it, but realize that what older people said to me has their own reasons..
As people grow older, it is harder to make friends..
Maybe because they don't grow up together or doesn't spend a lot of time together.
So sometimes even though you want to get closer, the gap seems to get bigger at the same time.

As when I thought I got a buddy that I can stick to,
we are now working together on something..
like usual when there's people, problems and dramas will always come and go..
I always feel stupid when dramas end because I will feel like i got all upset for nothing and always tell myself that it probably won't happen again.
but we as humans, it comes again and again in a cycle...

Down to square one: There's no one else that could help you except yourself. Stop whining and face it!

Imagine my heart is a house: Open up and let people walk in.. Feeling good and partying together.. When they leave leaving their foot stains and trash around.. Who's the one who will turn back and help to clean up? Telling them not to litter, they might leave before even walking in..

This is the last time I'm gonna talk about this buddy. Because the next time I'm posting something about this buddy, it will be just a person from my life... or i would say before i get rid of my insecurities, i would not want to have a buddy.. In the end, both of us might be getting hurt at the same time..

THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING AND PATHETIC!! WHY AM I BLOGGING INSTEAD OF HAVING SOMEONE I COULD TALK TO! FML!

-------------
edited: so I talked to BD after venting here. Seems like BD doesn't understand and from BD's point of view, I'm stressing BD out. Just when i thought communication is the key, i guess when you try to prove that you are not at fault rather than understanding what i'm trying to say.... nothing changes...

IM NOT SAYING ANYONE IS AT FAULT! GOD DAMMIT!

------------
2 hours after it happened
re-talk: case close. I admit everything is my fault and over reacting...

what i always tell people: it doesn't matter to say that you are at fault even if you are not, IF you value the relationship :)
p/s: only works after the big flame is over!