dramas created by my mind/emotions

so.... after being away for quite a while..
i always wanna blog about the recent happenings around me..
but since my emotions are always going up and down, i somehow kinda lost the mood to blog.

after coming back from Taiwan, my room had been really messy for so long.
i cleaned it around 3 days ago and felt reaaaally great about it.
when cleaning out my luggage, i felt disgusted at myself for getting clothes that i don't need.
Then i comfort myself by promising myself I'm not gonna shop for clothes until i return to Malaysia during summer. Looking at my over-crowding wardrobe made me wanna trash everything out.
just kidding.. I'm feeling a little down now. wwaahahaha..

this one person treated me differently when i was in Taiwan. I was really shock about the changes. The tone when I'm talking to A on the phone, i was totally piss. A's tone was kinda like " im too busy to entertain you guys". Aso when A is with A's crowd of people, the way A talk really shocked me.. It was as if i'm just a mere acquaintance. So i been avoiding talking to A since i'm back. i'm planning to talk to A about it after being in denial for a period of time. but I was not able to talk to A about it due to the wrong timing and being at the wrong place. sigh...

the other thing that's been provoking me is the attitude of this certain someone. Somehow i felt that X thinks that X is being more superior because X has been doing something that i'm not doing. recently being near X makes me wanna just rip my pillow. RIP RIP RIP pillow!!

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also RIGHT NOW im just feeling really uneasy about something else..
and it's also a ripping pillow feeling..
arghhh
should i be straight-forward or be a shameless woman..
arghhhhhh i'm not trying to act desperate but i hate to guess people's feelings..

p/s: guessing game is NOT my thing!

eye candy to take my mind off stuff..