In the past recent years, when I'm making new acquaintance, it is just a hi-bye relationship. Thinking that I could not have a better relationship other than just class-friends. Opening up to people is really hard for me because as I get to know them more the more I expect something in return from them. The thing that I'm expecting is not just a material. What I'm talking about is the return of my treatment. Like don't look for me only when you need something, we can still chat casually about other stuff that is going on too. I'm not a robot or something. That's why usually when I have a hint that someone is in this kind of category, I just back away, away, awayyyyy.
As for now, I joined a club recently that teaches me about different aspects of life like being a vegetarian, the reason to volunteer.. etc. The people that I met in Tzu Ching are people that i feel comfortable with. I'm not only motivated by them on their talks towards a better future but also inspired by what some people's attitude towards the hands-on action. I'm not gonna talk much about this, as i can talk about this for frigging long.
Yesterday I went over to a friend's place, spending the night playing monopoly deal and U-NOOO. This reminds me of the days with wifey (novita), ricky,jest,nos and foz! (wifey: i still lose all the time on monopoly deal!!) It's been a while since I did sleepovers.
(p/s: Michelle, if you are reading this.. i bought new games which will be fun for our future sleep over when im back in malaysia!)
Before this I always thought that the way I'm living is fine as it is. Now I felt that actually I'm wasting my life like a zombie-> school-> work ->sleep-> drama. And the cycle goes on. Now i have added -> clubs-> volunteers-> working out->hanging out. Coming soon, I'm really looking forward in tutoring little kids. It just started anyways, so i'm not sure if i'm able to cope with this.
Now the only thing left I need to work on is time management!! I need to re-focus! :))))))
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Talking about my current single and complicated relationship, i think it is kinda progressing. Maybe now that I'm more busy with stuff around me, the deep cut of my heart is being patch up by plasters. I need to remind myself not to get tangled with people who are already in a relationship!
Don't let the frigging history repeats!
I won't ask for more but i will ask for the strength to have a strong heart!
"no fluttery fluttery! only "hard hard" unbreakable!
Fav quote of the month:
"Do not ask for less responsibilities; ask for more strength." -Master Cheng-Yen
My thoughts on it:
I don't wanna ask for less responsibilities too, but if I don't have the strength to overcome it... I'm screwed!!!
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