once and again..

been away from blogging for quite some while..
thinking that there's nothing much more to write about as i already decided that the someone is no longer affecting me..

i moved on..
yeap ! that's right! i successfully moved on..

when i was away i tried to meet new people (online dating) and doing more outdoor activities..
meeting new people is fun and exciting..
being nervous all over again for guys is something that i haven't been feeling since a loooooong time..
but in the end, i realized i was pushing myself too hard..
At some point, i just gave it up..
There's like nothing more to talk about after sometime..
It's like i don't even feel like talking or asking how are you etc...
maybe it's because i'm use to people in Malaysia that actually initiated the first move if they are interested..
not like freaking "who message who first" kind of game t(@o@t)
be more daring bloody fool.. is not like you are gonna lose anything..
freaking pride of yours..

Then i ask myself, why am i doing this?
it seems like i'm desperate to find someone to replace that idiot in my life.
but eventually when i realize that he no longer has a place in my heart..
everything just came clear to me..
overall mission accomplished.. so.. at least i gain something?

Now i just want to focus on school, work and games? lol
when the time comes, it will happen.. so just let it be..
tired of making expectations, tired of disappointments and lastly tired of trusting others..
believing in myself and working hard for my goals is what i'm targeting now..
screw the rest! t(*o*t)

goal (1): lose weight!! from 137 pounds to 120 in three months!!
pheeweeett!! cheer on me babes!

goal (2): working 20 hrs per week!! and spend less on food instead!!

goal (3): stay strong and believe i control my own destiny or fate or whatever you call it...

tata for now <3

p/s: stop doing this to me!