feeling nauseous in my sleep

about the recent things going on..
i thought that i would accept it coolly,
but it seems like i think about it more than i think..
i HATE complicated stuff..
HATE IT...
i was sleeping and woke up in the night...
feeling nauseous...
feel guilty..

dont understand why is it ok for me to give that treatment..
because if it happened to me,
i wouldnt just stay passive about it..
the thing is..
am i doing the right thing?
how do i end this..
because no matter how i see it, its not going anywhere..
maybe there's no right or wrong..
but i dont know..
maybe it's because of the holiday..

class starting next monday..
i hope i know what i want by then..

p/s: still in the "dont know" state..